Falling off the face of the earth... or something like that.

soooooooo, my last entry was Oct. 22...

I can remember it fondly..

reminiscing about my big girls birthday...

in awe of what life would bring next...

feeling comfortable with my new found photography interest...

gearing up for the holidays...

just loving life...

and apparently I loved life a LOT right then...

because that post was right around the time I got pregnant :)

Fast forward a few weeks...

to extreme tiredness...

extreme nausea....

extremely out of control...

extreme feelings of "why me"....

.....

Now don't get me wrong...

i know God has a plan for me...

and i trust him implicitly...

but it doesn't mean that I can't get a little ticked off...

when "THE PLAN" doesn't exactly line up with MY plan.

You see a new baby wasn't in MY plan...

at least not right now...

2011 was supposed to look different...

Ayden finishing kindergarten then off to 1st grade...

Micah starting pre-school 3 days a week...

me with a goal of starting a real photography business by the end of the year...

me with a little more time to myself...

maybe a vacation or two...

me sleeping in a little since the kids were "older"...

a little more "ME" and a little less "THEM"...

and hey, I'm not at all saying that i don't love my family with all my heart...

but i really thought i needed that slight shift in the mama dynamic...

apparently I'm the only only one who thought i needed it :)

because WHAM...

out of no where....

I'm gonna be a mama of 3 kiddos...

starting over with a baby...

starting over with our family life...

a new occupation for me that is not photography...

and I have to admit...

I may have made things a bit worse...

kicking and screaming a bit through the first trimester...

curled in a fetal position next to the toilet...

wishing that I had enjoyed a night of fun to deserve the "hangover" feeling i was experiencing...

rather than the surging hormones my body despises...

luckily Superman was there everyday to lift me back up...

Lin has been a rock like no other the last few months...

and it's because of him I'm hitting that light at the end of this tunnel...

it's because of him that I think i might be able to handle another baby...

it's because of him telling me that it'll all be OK that I actually believe that it'll all be OK.

...

So i'm venturing back into this thing called "my life"...

and i have so much faith that God knows what he's doing...

and i cling to that daily...

and now that we're pretty sure that the new baby is a girl...

Lin is clinging to it too :)

i'm happy to be back writing again...

i'm hoping to be back snapping pics again soon...

one step at a time...

thanks for taking a minute to catch up with me...

i missed you :)

but man have I been busy...

it's not everyday you get to help God create a new person...

and I'm truly, truly thankful he chose me...

for this child...